My Visit To Xeed

As a Health and Wellbeing worker in Lancaster I love visiting other organisations. I network; boy oh boy do I network.

Over the past few months, thanks to my tenacious networking, I’ve found fantastic organisations which provide much needed support for residents of Lancaster, Morecambe and beyond.

A few weeks ago I visited a group called Xeed.

Xeed has an excellent reputation for providing a sense of community to people with long term health conditions (may I add, Xeed welcome everyone (health conditions or not)). They meet every Thursday from 13.30-16.00 at a charming café in Morecambe called Kerry’s Coffee House; the tea they serve is damn good and the food is delicious, if it was socially acceptable to get on all fours like a doggy and lick your plate clean you probably would, that’s how tasty Kerry’s food is. They're on twitter, if you want to tweet the gang at Kerry's follow this link.

When Xeed members aren’t socialising at Kerry’s they meet up for meals, run excellent courses focusing on improving your quality of life, they also hold a monthly meeting at the Strathmore hotel.

I visited Xeed for their Friday meeting. It’s safe to say I was pumped as I got into my car on my way to the Strathmore. Would Xeed live up to its hype? The proof, as they say, is in the pudding.

On first impression I thought The Strathmore was a bloody nice hotel: a receptionist with a big smile, decent view of the sea, relaxed atmosphere. What more could you want from a hotel?

I entered the lounge, although I had met a couple of people from Xeed before, I felt like a jittery new-man-on-campus-on-his-first-day-at-big-school. Thankfully, Xeed members made the effort to speak to me; they wanted to know my name. Might not sound like a big deal but I found myself smiling every time someone asked me (for my name). Three people offered to make me tea (I only wanted one tea), and to my delight a sociable gentleman showed me his tattoo of Elvis Presley (big fan). To make a long story short, I was made to feel welcome.

An outgoing lady called Janette began the meeting, explaining what goes on at Xeed. She informed us newbies there are two opportunities to win a cash prize with Xeed’s pools. On some weeks Xeed members are invited to partake in a quiz, which by all accounts is a lot of fun!

The week I attended, we participated in a discussion on self care. When Janette distributed the discussion’s agenda, I scanned my copy. The words on my paper wouldn’t have looked out of place at a Tony Robbins-esque empowerment fest, which would have been just dandy. However, when discussion time came Xeed members were pragmatic; it wasn’t positive thinking for the sake of positive thinking. Janette invited us to talk about self care, and the pros and the cons of some self care concepts. As a group we encouraged each other to be realistic about what self care meant rather than whooping and hollering about how great life could be. It was a supportive discussion punctuated with a healthy mix of practicality, poignancy and humour.

Some topics we discussed that still resonate with me a couple of weeks after include:

Thinking badly about ourselves – We were invited to put our hands up if we ever thought negatively about ourselves. Have a guess how many people, in a room of twelve or so people, put their hands up?

If you guessed all twelve of us then you guessed correct.

We all admitted to thinking badly about ourselves. It could range from, ‘I’m such a plonker, I left my socks in the office again’ to ‘Don’t bother trying you’re going to fail.’ But whatever the negative thought was, we were all guilty of this kind of thinking to some extent. The fact everyone in the room recognised this meant that it could be normal to think this way. Normal doesn’t mean helpful though and it’s something we could all develop.

Be Kind to Yourself – We had a discussion about ways of being kinder to ourselves. For me, if I complete a boring chore like washing my car, cleaning the hob, attempting the guttering, and of course, ironing my underpants (come on, we all do it!) then I reward myself for a job well done. This reward can be a long bath, a coffee cake or even a relaxing aimless walk at dusk. I adhere to the philosophy of if you deserve it give yourself a pat on the back! You’d be surprised of the results you achieve when you treat yourself with kindness (and chocolate).

Don’t Be Afraid to Say No – A discussion on this point went back and forth with Xeed members, below is what I got from the discussion:

To some it might seem negative to say no, or at least showing yourself to be unhelpful. But if you try to please every man and his dog, then you can put yourself in a difficult situation; some people could take the Michael and before long you’ll be a door mat making cups of tea one minute, typing up your husband’s notes the next and running errands across town for anyone who clicks their fingers. Sounds flippin’ exhausting.

Treat your time as precious, if you get an instinctive feeling in your gut saying you don’t want to do something then guess what: don’t do it. Your mate wants you to annihilate some pints at the local pub and you just want a quiet night in watching First Dates, just say no. Your sister wants you to help her cook chicken Piri Piri to impress her boss but you bought some new trunks especially for a swim at Salt Ayre, follow your instincts and get in that pool, there doesn’t need to be an elaborate apology. Swim the night away. You’ve been invited to a punk concert but you’d rather go to your book club, go to where you want to go. Just say no thank you, I don’t fancy a night of punk rock, I don’t care what Johnny Rotten says. It can be that simple, don’t over think things.

There was loads of topics for me to sink my teeth into. The time flew by and of course, it goes without saying, Xeed lived up to its respectable reputation. I hope to visit Xeed again and I encourage you to give it a try.

Don’t forget North Lancashire Inclusion Service also provide excellent groups! Click here to see what we have for you in Lancaster and Morecambe. If you want more information about our groups at NLCIS call 01524 418308.